Many of us walk around unhappy with how our life is. Too often we spend time comparing our lives to how we believe other people’s level of happiness or some made notion of what ours should be. I blame media and capitalism, and white supremacy. I know. I blame capitalism and white supremacy for everything, but I haven’t found a through-line that stops before capitalism and white supremacy. Fear, I suppose, but capitalism and white supremacy are fear. We learn our lives should be full of happiness, delicious food, fun, acknowledgment, perfect partnerships/spouses, achievement, surprises, and adventure. That’s bullshit. I find life looks a lot more like carpooling, mowing the lawn, wrangling kids, getting to work, stressing about work, managing health issues (mental and physical), grocery shopping, and figuring out how to feed all the mouths you are responsible for feeding. All while planning time to have a vacation of delicious food, fun and adventure, and daydreaming about what our lives should be like.
Life is pretty dull a lot of the time.
I 100% BELIEVE that we can intentionally create life to have more of the “fun” things I listed above. I know people who do the mundane but live in Hawaii, which makes adventure and fun more easily accessible for them. I know people who live a life of adventure, but it requires constant travel and, if you don’t know, a lot of travel time can be stressful and tiresome. (It’s also a horrible thing to do for the environment, and I believe that alone is costly on one’s soul.) So, I’m genuinely not saying that life is automatically and will always be 90% boring. It doesn’t have to be. But life is not a constant Instagram pic. It just isn’t.
For some of us the trick that media and capitalism and WS plays has really fucked with us. We believed it. We thought if we conformed, if we played the game, we’d get the happy life. And it was tragically and traumatically untrue and left us feeling as if we were broken. If it’s possible I ask you to look at the injury. To see that it, in itself, was part of the game. There was no promise. There was no happy life. The injury is it, passed on to all. But the injury isn’t you. It’s outside of you. You, dear one, are whole, human and love. You are gold, pure gold, walking the earth waiting to recognize and walk with other gold, pure gold.